"My 13-year-old son is travelling here by foot, with his two wives and his three childrens. If he survives the journey I have promised him that he can make penetration with Colombian prostitute Shakira."


"Welcome to the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest!"


"That singer before me. Who was it? It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite, he was very convincing. It was only his hands and his testi satchels that gave it away."


"Please prepare yourself for masturbation because next are international singing prostitutes, Pussy Cat Dolls."


"Very nice. Whah whah we whah! I imagine you with no clothes. Borat is getting fat."