Here Is What I Say - "Jagshemash, my name Borat Sagdiyev. I would like comment on recent advertisements on television and in media about my nation of Kazakhstan, saying that women are treated equally, and that all religions are tolerated - these are disgusting fabrications. These claims are part of a propoganda campaign against our country by evil nitwits Uzbekistan - who as we all know are a very nosey people, with a bone in the middle of their brain..."

You're The Best (Around) - From the frat boys at Transylvania University, comes the homoerotic music video for Joe Esposito's "You're The Best".

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us. We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

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"The sex vid's working title is 'Saved by the Smell'." Lovely. Hopefully, this gossip is the kind that's false. We don't want to see Screech applying a shit 'stache anywhere, thanks. Wouldn't put it past him to release a sex vid for the exposure, though.

They're big, shiny brown with a black head, and crunchy, and for some brave souls, they'll soon be what's for dinner at Six Flags Great America. The Gurnee amusement park is daring those with adventurous tastes to down a live Madagascar hissing cockroach - much to the displeasure of the Lake County Health Department.

It starts Oct. 7 as part of a promotion for Great America's annual weekend FrightFest. In return, a roach-eater will receive a T-shirt and a pass to bring three pals to the front of any ride line. The undated pass will be good for all of FrightFest, which ends Oct. 29. Great America's cockroach infatuation won't end there. Spokesman James Taylor said the amusement park plans to hold an eating contest with cooked Madagascar hissing roaches Oct. 13. He said it's hoped someone tops the 36 cooked roaches downed in one minute by a British man in the Guinness Book of World Records.

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And, as can be expected, PETA weigh in five days later to express their disapproval.

Quizmania (No Legs Caller) - Quizmania is a late night quiz show and as a result, it often features legless callers (of the pissed up kind). Greggles receives a call from someone who is literally legless and casually slips in this fact. Yakabakaka!

Stefane Monzön Spring/Summer Collection - Pubic hair fashion show. I believe it's a Remington viral.

Matt Damon Storms Off Jimmy Kimmel Set - Not sure if he's acting or not.

Girl Archer - Lilia Stepanova's appearance on America's Got Talent.

Cocaine - "Warning! You are about to experience the highest energy content of ANY energy drink on the market today! 350% greater than The Bull! Cocaine is not just a re-hash of existing drinks. It is a completely unique new formula - it tastes like a fireball, a carbonated atomic fireball! The question you have to ask yourself is: can I handle the rush?"

Cockroach Dream - Swat 100 cockroaches without reaching the maximum stress level in order to sleep in peace.

White & Nerdy - The latest music video from Weird Al Yankovic.